So in the last week, we've decided to take a leap. To move. To move out of the rental house that we're currently in and really dislike for a number of reasons and move into another rental. We considered buying, but decided that buying to get out of our current house wasn't a good enough reason to make the very big leaps that would have been required to purchase. So we're renting a place that will make us happy for the next year or two.
One thing that has been on my mind is judgments. Watching someone judge a friend the second they walk into a room only moments after *I* was visually looked up and down, being judged moments before. It's difficult. Likely not intentional by the 'judger' but it's hurtful.
In the 'four agreements' one of the agreements is to not take anything personal. This has been difficult. It's been a struggle. My entire life I've taken EVERYTHING personal. Everything. So to watch myself, know that it's unnecessary and not helpful to take anything personal even when I've been looked up and down with a touch of a sneer is HARD.
I know things are on the up and up. I know that I need to include things that make me happy on a daily basis. I know it's easy to do. I just need to *do* it. The fact that Jenna doesn't allow me to photograph her anymore has made that challenging. Sooo, I've offered to shoot some shots of my friends. This makes me happy beyond words. Just me, the camera, friends, good conversation, beautiful colors. Happy. Fun. Exciting. Loving. I'm not a pro, I have absolutely no intentions of going pro. Ever. But shooting images, stopping life, makes me so incredibly happy. (the fact that I have a serious aversion to post production feeds this, along with my free time I want to be FREE, not dedicated to others). I can't wait, wait, wait for my little niece or nephew to come into this world so I can shoot the peely skin, the proud parents, and the first time Uncle.
New home. Great, supportive friends. A happy, healthy family. What more can a girl ask for?
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